


So Maybe it's Time We Burn it All Down

by nonky



Series: So Maybe Series [6]
Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 07:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13676766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonky/pseuds/nonky
Summary: It didn't escape Nathaniel that they must look like a new family. Rebecca was studying the infant in her arms with tenderness, though she glanced up at him and it didn't go away. He knew how he was looking at her.





	So Maybe it's Time We Burn it All Down

"It's time?"

Nathaniel wasn't sure about being at the hospital when Darryl's baby was born. It was also Rebecca's baby - at least genetically. He was trying to mention his former lover as little as possible at home. Mona deserved that consideration, after the eight months of sloppy cheating she'd suffered with not a single passive aggressive word blurted until he'd become a complete ass about it. 

Their office wasn't the sort of place to politely beg off visiting on a big occasion. All the co-workers would be there, humming with enthusiastic joy for their boss. 

He wanted to be there for his friends. Rebecca couldn't be said to be less than an old friend, and he and Darryl had bonded during their time sharing an office. He was even excited to see what the baby looked like. In Nathaniel's mind it would remind him of Rebecca. He was honest enough to admit a part of his chest ached nicely thinking of a baby version of a Rebecca Bunch. The adult version was always cute to him, and he wondered at the amplified power of an infant given her big blue eyes. 

If he sometimes pictured a baby girl in a robust Darryl moustache and choked on the inadvertent comedy, he would argue anyone who met Darryl struggled with taking him seriously from time to time. 

Fatherhood for a second time was the focus of the other man's life and Nathaniel respected that about him. He should visit. It shouldn't be a big deal to tell Mona about it in an adult, simple manner. 

"So . . . I just got a text from my partner," he said lightly, holding up his phone as if to show the name on the screen. Mona looked away from the television and her eyes narrowed for just a second of suspicion. "Darryl - the one who's having a baby through a surrogate? She's in the hospital to have the baby."

Sleek brown hair rippling poetically in a graceful way Rebecca's never would, Mona nodded. "Okay."

Her pause was loaded, and he knew he was supposed to address the presence of his former lover in the situation before he would get another word of reply. The biggest difference between Mona and Rebecca was the graceful stillness his new girlfriend possessed. She was emotionally contained to the point of near mystery, and he was still getting used to the change of energy. 

"The whole freaky office will probably show up, and it's going to be big deal," Nathaniel said calmly. "I'll probably wait a bit until I hear something more, but I should make an appearance and congratulate him. I don't intend to stay that long."

"Sounds good," Mona said lightly. She watched his face and must have caught him in a cringe. "I don't intend to lock you up at home after work is over. I assume Rebecca will be there, and you're going to keep your promise not to cheat on me again. They're your friends. I can't stop you from having other people in your life because some of them are women."

He exhaled. It was unfair of him, but he was waiting for a catty side to burst out and attack. Mona was genuinely mature enough to recognize they needed trust. He had to find a way to believe it was sincere. 

"I'll be there to see Darryl and drop off a gift," he said. "Rebecca will be there, too. I mean, she's the mother. Well, she's the egg donor. She's not going to have any parental rights."

He froze as Mona stood, smoothing out his shirt gently. "I know you still have to talk to her. I know she works with you. It would make me feel better if you could not be alone with her?"

He smiled, hands slipping down her back as he relaxed. He had to get past this weird sense of guilt. He had moments of intense longing for Rebecca, but he wasn't plotting to cheat. It was just a transition period. Moving in with Mona was an adjustment and he was happy they were trying to really make things work. 

Doubt was just another part of the human condition he was learning to accept. It didn't mean he regretted his choices. 

"I won't. It will be everyone, probably all talking at once. I'd feel bad not showing my face. I'm not camping out all night like the others, though. I'll wait for another text the baby has actually arrived and go over then. You can come with me."

"Mmm, it depends on how late it is. I have a lot of meetings this week and the senior partners hate seeing anything that remotely resembles people having fun in their downtime," Mona said. "Dark circles under the eyes are treated like shooting up heroin in the bathroom."

In his office, he was lucky if the employees refrained from having belching contests by the elevator while new clients arrived. Nathaniel was surprised to feel himself smiling at the thought instead of wincing. He liked it there. It felt alive with real, flawed humans who had taught him to relax his standards so he could be a person instead of an example of successful ivy-league education. 

"I have no idea when I'll have to go. I understand if you have to sleep. My office is going to be useless for the next month, so I can probably do an early morning visit at the hospital and nap in my office chair while the rest of them take the day off," he said. 

If the excited new dad didn't give them all the day off, Rebecca would excuse the employees who were too tired to go in. Nathaniel didn't fight her on the little things. It took a lot of energy to face her calmly and make his voice and body do all the indifferent tones and motions. Fighting was too intimate to risk only a month after the last time they were together. 

He leaned down to meet Mona as she tipped up to kiss him. What they had was good and satisfying. He sank down to the sofa and pulled her down to sit almost in his lap, tapping out a quick reply to let Darryl know he'd seen the text. There was no rush to go to the hospital. Babies took a long time, and he had no insight to help Darryl through his nerves. 

Nathaniel was in no hurry to leave Mona for a glimpse of Rebecca. 

They watched television and made love, both of them going to bed like normal. He dozed until his phone buzzed an update very early the next morning. It was a garbled series of numbers he eventually recognized as a birth weight and height in Metric measurements. Nathaniel shook his head at the tiny screen. West Covina was such a weird town. 

His slide from the bed was silent and he had showered the night before in anticipation for an early start. Mona never seemed to have trouble sleeping alone, and was peaceful as he left the apartment. 

She liked him, wanted him, but she didn't need him yet. Nathaniel wasn't even sure she'd forgiven him. 

 

"Okay, I talked to the nurse and she's going to let everyone visit for just a minute," Darryl said eagerly. "She said I need to send you all to wash your hands really well, and it's two at a time. Photos are okay, but no flashes."

He was beaming, and Rebecca's pale features were the only ones looking nervous. Nathaniel wondered if she'd ever talked about her egg donation at her therapy. He couldn't ask now, and he was sorry he hadn't made more of an effort to talk when they were close. She'd pulled away and he had to assume Paula had taken up her old role as chief Rebecca expert. 

It hurt not knowing his worries would be received well anymore. He had given up his rights there, and no one would rush to inform him of Rebecca's secrets. They all knew to separate Nathaniel and Rebecca like uneasy factions honouring a patchwork peace treaty. Everything worked better when they didn't have to stare one another down over the stark reality all day long.

The doors to the mens' and ladies' rooms were side by side. He didn't care about going first, so he propped himself on the wall and let the last of the chilly antibacterial soap air dry from his cuffs. He was dressed to go to work after. The new baby should be more of a reason to keep the office open and making money. She was going to need money for the college Rebecca chose for her.

Unfortunately for the poor baby - whose name he'd yet to hear - it would probably be Harvard and not somewhere good. Maybe he could find a Stanford onesie and plant a few seeds of dissent.

The ladies' room door opened with a slap to the wall inside, and Maya led a charge of excited women back to line up for their turns. The last one out was Rebecca, and she paused to pull uncomfortably at her wrinkled silk shirt. She was dressed for work, too, but it was the same outfit as the day before.

"I think the gift shop sells sweaters," he said without meaning to let the words out. "If you're cold, I could go see if I can get you one. I'm mostly here to shake Darryl's hand. I don't imagine the baby knows I'm here to see her."

"Hmm?" She turned too quickly, startled. "Oh! No, thank you. I'm not cold, but that's nice of you."

Anyone else and he could offer his own coat, but he had gone to dinner with Mona just having pulled himself away from Rebecca's arms too many times to show up at home with her perfume rubbed off on his collar. Caution was too familiar to him. Nathaniel had lived a careful childhood in a very quiet home. He knew all the rules for avoiding emotional pitfalls. 

He fell into Rebecca's because he walked into them, and they weren't places he belonged anymore. 

"No Trent?"

He couldn't shake the image of Rebecca looking small and somehow chastised by the big man she'd claimed as the love of her life. It didn't feel right. Nathaniel knew he was biased. It would be odd to see her with someone else, at least until he settled in with Mona. Until he had some time and distance to get used to a Rebecca who never interrupted him with bright and thoroughly beside the point monologues, he had to assume she was okay. Maybe she wasn't as effusive and passionate when her medications were working to keep her healthy.

Trent was large and he exuded some odd wavelength of threat. Paula would never stand for any abuse of her surrogate daughter, so Nathaniel had to assume he was interpreting the scene through his own jealousy. It made him curious about Rebecca's relationship in an unhealthy way. But there were little moments when it was only polite to mention significant others. If he was digging for a hint of something wrong, that was only about basic human consideration. 

The guy had come out of nowhere, like the monster in a horror movie managed to appear just over the shoulder of his victims. Not that Trent had to be a monster. He was probably just a normal guy.

Rebecca went even paler, her cheeks going feverish as if tears were what she swallowed down when she cleared her throat. "He's out of town. He still works out of town," she smiled awkwardly, shrugging. "They're not sure when they can replace him at that location to arrange a transfer."

That, again, seemed misplaced. Trent had held on to her like he never wanted to let go. Nathaniel could relate, but the other man had to be missing her. This was a pretty big deal, and he could at least have flown back to be company as Rebecca met her child. 

"I'm sorry," Nathaniel said quietly. "I wasn't prying, you know."

She nodded. "I know. I know you -" She sighed, and there were definitely tears clotting in her throat. "I didn't think I'd be this emotional. I was really just thinking of this as Darryl's baby."

He stood up, though he was careful to walk at a safe distance as they made their way slowly back to join the group. "You're not the only one crying. Did you see Tim? I just - If I made you feel lonely or something, that wasn't intentional."

Rebecca looked at her feet as she walked. "I have lots of friends here. I'm okay."

They were the last two back, and they were paired off automatically. Rebecca could have shoved her way ahead and no one would have argued, but she lingered as everyone else went into the room sniffling and left it chatting about baby toes, bright eyes and the baby's definite resemblance to Darryl in the earlobes.

Paula and Maya came out with matching broad grins. Rebecca lifted her head and returned her friend's smile with one of her own. 

"Cookie, she is gorgeous," Paula said tearfully. "You did so good, honey. Darryl is just - I swear, it's like you gave him a kidney and saved his life. He's glowing like he carried the baby himself."

The two women embraced, Rebecca clinging until Maya joined in and squirmed between them. 

"She's really a miracle, Rebecca," Maya said, juggling her smeared glasses as she was nudged away. 

"Well, Heather did all of the hard work," Rebecca told them. "I just provided the egg. It's not like I'm using them."

He knew there was something to worry about from the way she said it, but Paula seemed to miss the tone in her fatigued emotional state. Nathaniel watched her smile blandly as she dug for more tissues. 

"Go meet her," the redhead said happily. "You should have had the first turn, but now maybe you can stick around a bit longer and hold her. She smells just right. It's the perfect new baby smell."

He didn't know what that smell was supposed to be. He knew Paula must mean something nicer than the sour milk and diaper mix he knew vaguely from brief moments in elevators or lineups with children. Nathaniel followed Rebecca into the room without asking. It was obviously a time to be pro-baby and go along with all the fuss. 

Heather was resting in her hospital room, her parents and Hector looking after her. Darryl had been given a little visiting room barely big enough to have an armchair and space on the floor for the wheeled basinette from the nursery. 

He was gazing down at his baby with a wonder that was touching, though Nathaniel didn't feel any particular drive to have that for himself. He could see liking having a kid under certain very specific conditions. He could also picture the errors he was likely to make looking back on his example of fatherhood. Maybe if he paid close attention to Darryl for a while, he could see it being a good idea. 

"Rebecca! Nathaniel! Oh, you guys!"

Darryl was still Darryl, even on his blissful momentous day. He looked at the one chair and frowned. "I'm sorry, they didn't have a bigger room. She picked a busy night to meet us, didn't you princess?"

Both men waved Rebecca to sit, and she lowered herself as gingerly as if she was in pain. The little bundle of what he could mostly see as white cotton was lowered to her arms, and Rebecca sighed as she braced herself to look down. She shook when she met the baby's eyes. 

"Oh, Darryl - I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," Darryl told her. He pinched his nose and his moustache trembled with his lips. "You helped me have this little girl. Thank you!"

It was a typical awkward moment when he was moved to fall to his knees next to the armchair, going for a kiss on the cheek that missed because Rebecca wasn't expecting it. She moved too late, and her hair ended up stuck to Darryl's wet eyelid. Nathaniel stood back and let them have their little moment where the other man fussed with trying to tidy Rebecca's hair and apologizing profusely.

"It's okay," she said. "She's really beautiful. I'm so happy for you. I'm so happy for her she'll have you as her dad."

That set off Darryl again, into a crying spell that required a new box of tissues. He flailed his way out of the room with a warm look over his shoulder and a hand to Nathaniel's shoulder urging him nearer. 

And just like that, he was breaking his promise to Mona not to be alone with Rebecca. The hallway had been incidental, but this was clearly a decision he made with every tiptoed step to go and sit on the arm of her chair.

"I don't know what Paula meant by a baby smell," he whispered.

It didn't escape Nathaniel that they must look like a new family. Rebecca was studying the infant in her arms with tenderness, though she glanced up at him and it didn't go away. He knew how he was looking at her. 

"I don't know either," she said. She lifted the baby up to her face and kissed the round forehead with an audible sniffle. "I'm crying too hard. I'm not sure I'm getting it, but it's nice. Here."

Nathaniel stiffened. He hadn't counted on holding the baby. He was used to roly panda cubs the size of large puppies. This baby was a brand new human, complete with soft spot and rubbery spine. 

"No, you hold her. I'm - I don't know what I'm doing! I'll just sniff, I guess?"

He leaned in and his hand brushed a tiny wisp of hair. He wasn't sure if it was brown like Darryl's or Rebecca's. It was soft like a cartoon lamb's wool looked. He had his face nearly pressed to Rebecca's cheek, her tiny daughter's breath falling on the other side of his face as he breathed in slowly and tried to describe the scent. 

"It's kind of . . . Have you ever been out in the first fluffy snowfall of the year? Just pure and sort of sweet," he murmured. "But warm and alive. Do you think that's it?"

"I don't know." Her voice had a softness he'd never experienced, and it made him calm in every sinew of his body. He could sleep perched over them, guarding them like an eagle over a nest.

He wanted to kiss the baby's cheek, but that felt like it would lead to burying his face in Rebecca's neck and forever associating her scent with the promise of a new life. 

Nathaniel moved back and tried to seem like he was looking at the baby as Rebecca lowered her to her lap. She freed a hand to find little fingers, and tickled a kicking foot that wasn't happy to be taken out of the warm blanket. They both chuckled as the tiny face chirped a protest until she was swaddled again. 

"She's really cute," Nathaniel said sincerely. 

He wanted to do a better job untangling her hair and curling it back away behind her ears. He wanted to put both hands on her shoulders and tell her he was proud of her for risking her sanity for this child neither of them had wanted. There was a fantasy there if he let it run wild; Rebecca exhausted in a hospital bed, holding an entirely accidental baby they'd made balancing on an old photocopier. 

She would yell at him for literal weeks if he'd gotten her pregnant by mistake. He knew it was better children were planned for and expected by people who were prepared for the responsibility. And Darryl was proof sometimes things were right because you felt you needed them. He had never been more confident and capable until Nathaniel had seen him setting out to rearrange his life for single-parenthood.

A tiny click and camera shutter sound effect pulled him out of his thoughts. Rebecca looked up with a gasp.

"I'm sorry, you were both smiling so peacefully," Darryl said from the doorway. "It's too bad I couldn't get closer, but I just want to remember every moment of today, you know?"

Nathaniel knew he'd have to make sure that photo didn't make it to the internet. The intimacy cloaking him in Rebecca's presence was too obvious if you were looking for it. The people at work had learned to see them as exes. He didn't know about Rebecca, but he thought her quick exits and insistence on taking the stairs proved she was still as stuck as he was. 

"It's fine," he said easily. "Congratulations, Darryl. She's beautiful. Her ears look just like yours."

The new father lowered his phone to go look, Nathaniel standing to give up his spot next to the chair. 

"Thank you. That means a lot!"

It was nonsense, but he had to get out of there. "Unfortunately, I had a meeting scheduled early today. I have to go in. I had a thing for you, but I honestly forgot it at home. I'll bring it in later. Maybe Mona can come, too."

"I'd love for Mona to meet her," Darryl agreed. "Hey, I'm sorry to keep everybody here all night. I told them they should head out. I think you might be really short-handed today."

Nathaniel shrugged. "It's a huge day for you. I don't mind. I just can't miss that meeting. I'm going to take off. I'll text you later, okay?"

Rebecca was piggybacking on his exit, handing the baby carefully back to Darryl and making her own excuses. 

"-people kept handing me coffees and I kept drinking them," she said, her voice too overtly bright. "Those are definitely Whitefeather earlobes."

They were nearly racing one another down the hallway before they turned the corner back to the waiting room. Their co-workers had cleared out, evidently kicked out by the nursing staff that had finally gotten sick of them. Rebecca found her coat over a chair and pulled it on. 

Nathaniel couldn't ignore her shaking. "Hey, I have a few minutes. Maybe I should give you a ride home?"

Rebecca turned to look at him, her eyes red. "Did you mean what you said about the baby? That she's beautiful?"

He nodded. It was what people said about any baby, but he could see it. Her squeaky kitten mewl of an argument had won him over. 

"She's beautiful, Rebecca. I don't know anything about babies. I don't know who she looks like yet because she mostly just looks pink and squishy. But she's a beautiful baby."

She nodded, but her face twisted and she could barely stand. "Good. I'm glad. I don't ever want her to feel like she's not wanted. No one deserves to feel like that, and she already doesn't have a mother."

The waterfall of tears obscuring her vision had to blind her, but she stumbled past him in the general direction of the ladies' room. Nathaniel followed her. He hoped Paula was still there, but it was past six. Her husband and sons didn't get to work or school unless she was there to make them get out of bed. 

He paused for only a second when Rebecca disappeared into the ladies' room. If she was crying that hard, he couldn't leave her to whatever was tormenting her. She'd been so blase about Darryl's baby being half hers. If anything, she'd been concerned how Heather would cope once the baby was born. 

"Rebecca?" God, he wasn't sure she didn't have her purse. He hadn't noticed, and a purse could hold any number of pills. There was also the very real potential she would take off to live with Trent wherever creepy, possessive guys lived.

"Rebecca?! I can't leave you alone like this. I don't want to be pushy, but I need to be sure you're okay!"

She had thrown off the coat and was sitting on the counter. The sink was running but her sobs were much louder. Rebecca rubbed her chest through the deep v neck of her blouse, clutching a handful of paper towels to her face. 

"I didn't know it would hurt to see her," she said. "I wasn't thinking of it from her side. She has my crappy borderline personality gene and she'll know I gave her away before she was even born. What if it fucks her up?! What if I've already fucked up because I wanted a gold star for being such a good friend? I never thought it through, and Darryl was just grateful. No one in my family has ever been happy! No one has ever wanted me enough to stay!"

He'd never been able to stay angry at Rebecca. The heart she broke the most was her own. Nathaniel rushed at her and wrapped himself around her, finally getting his hands buried in her hair and his face pressed to her nape. 

"Don't you dare tell me no one wants you," he said roughly. "You know better!"

He knew she was helpless and he should drive her home and leave her there to build up her defenses. It wasn't fair to take this moment to swoop in and take her. He was faithless and broken, and she made him so unstable he was willing to go back and snatch that newborn baby from Darryl's arms to give her to Rebecca. He would give her anything to make her stop suffering so completely her hands couldn't even grip his shirt. 

"You're with Mona."

"I live with Mona because you were killing me. Waiting for you was killing me, and then I saw you with someone else and I couldn't be alone with that," he said. "You make me weak and I react. I didn't know what I'd do if I didn't have the distraction of someone else. I made you a promise to wait until you were ready for me, but then you found someone you wanted more."

He had never felt so torn between roughness and reverence. He didn't want to scare her, but if that's what it took he would take her so hard she physically couldn't walk away from him again. 

"I wanted you. I didn't think I could have you," Rebecca whispered. She pushed him back to look in his eyes. "Trent wasn't real. He wasn't really - He wanted me but I never wanted him. I told him not to come back."

And she'd never bothered to clarify the situation. Everyone at work must still assume she had a boyfriend and they had both neatly moved on. Rebecca was madness let loose onto his life and he gripped her face with both hands so she couldn't conceal any flicker of emotion. 

"That doesn't say anything about us. Do you want me? Will you throw me away if I offer you everything?"

She drew in a breath with such effort he felt his own ribs shift with it. "If I was lucky enough to have you, I'd keep you forever. I just don't see how you'd want me forever."

He laughed bitterly. "Because despite what you think of my alma mater, I'm not stupid. I'd want you."

Rebecca's eyes went wide, swollen as they were. "Forever?"

Nathaniel took her hand and pried the paper towels away. He kissed the palm gently and led it down even more gently until she had to feel the shreds of his heart rushing into place to knit back together. "Forever."

Her body seemed to melt around his tense limbs as if they could undo nearly a year of horribly stupid decisions. Rebecca kissed him and he could taste her pain on her flesh. Her desperation was palpable, emotional starvation instead of physical want. 

He'd never been able to stop going back to her for this because they were both bottomless with the drive to be wanted for themselves. It was right, and they hadn't believed in it because its only measure was their own immeasurable longing. Their pain blended and canceled out.

He kissed her through the buzz of complications and came out the other side burned clean of anything. She might have just realized she needed to be a mother to another man's child. He had a girlfriend he'd been integrating into his whole life. They worked together. They fought dirty and didn't know how to be together. 

They were together now.

"Get this off," she hissed, yanking at his shirt.

They had a jostling, bruising race to strip, Rebecca still pinned to the counter and a paper towel clogged sink running over next to them. He cupped the back of her head and rammed her tighter to the mirrors. Her arch up to grind at his hips gave him the lead as he flicked her blouse open, tossed her skirt back and yanked her panties down. 

"Do you remember how it goes," Nathaniel asked lowly. "Do you remember how I can stoke you with three fingers right away because you're just that wet? Do you even know how rare it is to fit like we do?"

He would be gentle with her later, but this was the cure for their indecision. He dropped her panties and yanked off her shoes to reassure himself he was going to get to finish inside her. 

"I've missed you. God, I missed you." He could do anything to her and she liked it. It should be disconcerting, too much responsibility to put on another person. Nathaniel wanted her desperate. He skidded on the wet tiles as he ducked down and came up between her legs. Rebecca groped for something to hold as he buried his face in her thighs and bit his way up to her pussy. 

His nose followed the inner crease of her thighs, slowing as she hooked one foot in the front pocket of his pants to open herself to him. She wheezed a long, hoarse sob of effort when he lapped just once at her clitoris. Nathaniel could almost believe the last month had been a nightmare, and he was finding her still wet from their last time together. 

"Did you fuck him? Trent?" He teased her folds with fingertips, pretending he was leaving his prints on her. Pretending he was signing her with his tongue like artists signed paintings. 

"No, I was scared of him," she said weakly. "And I wanted you back. I was lonely for you." 

He dipped a single fingertip in, giving her practically nothing to grip. Her body clenched and she grunted as they both struggled in the rapidly flooding bathroom. 

"You cost us a month," he said resentfully. "When you're in trouble, you come to me."

"I will. I promise." She tried a plunge on his hand and he took it away, looking at her arrogantly. 

"Do I need to find Trent and hurt him for you," Nathaniel asked seriously. "Did he hurt you?"

"No, I won," Rebecca said. "I'm too smart to fall for his crap."

It was so hot that she was too smart to put up with any crap from a man. Even he was probably no match for Rebecca at her exquisite peak of manipulative fury. He knew he wasn't supposed to love that about her, but her ability to scheme was part of why they could make this work. No one would play the victim. 

"You're too smart to waste more time," he said. "Say my name and I'll give you what you want."

"Nath-than-eee-aaal," she drawled. "Mr. Fucking Perfect Plimpton the third."

It was a technicality, but she had said it, and giving her what she wanted would give him what he wanted, too. Nathaniel steadied her as she squirmed her thighs ever wider, inviting him to seal their bodies together.

He fucked her with his hand, two fingers going to three and then dropping back to one stingy digit stirring her leisurely. Rebecca watched his hand hungrily, tongue working in her open mouth as she panted. 

"Nathaniel," she said, breathless. "Nath-Nathaniel? Please?"

The disarming vulnerability of her was equaled by the force of her will when she honestly wanted something with her whole being. This was the Rebecca he'd met when he'd taken over the firm and pushed her to nearly murder him. 

His belt had been opened by deft fingers looking for advantage she didn't need. He pulled the zipper down, hauled her the the edge of the counter and slipped his cock into her smoothly. It was like their own version of willful amnesia, back to the supply closet to happily devour each other. 

Nathaniel moved quickly in her, Rebecca meeting his thrusts with slapping lifts of her ass as she bounced on it with no care they were in an unlocked hospital bathroom echoing with her moans. He was quieter, but his quick and laboured breathing was as dramatic compared to his usual stoicism. 

Every drive was a push back on ambition and expectations. Every moment of feeling good repudiated someone making them feel bad. Maybe it was unhealthy for him to want her this badly. 

Nathaniel wanted her to come, hard, and then he wanted to come in her. He felt like he could survive a lot of destruction if he had this to soothe his body and mind. 

Rebecca hauled him in impossibly near, fitting her foot into the empty sink. She latched her mouth to his neck and waited for his pace to increase. She cupped her raised knees back so he could lean in and pound into her until she lost the ability to gnaw on him and was sobbing with pleasure. 

And he didn't stop until he felt the burn overtake his spine, grip his heart and wrench him back into the exhausted heaviness of his body. 

Nathaniel blinked hard for a minute, gathering himself. He reached over and turned off the water. He knew they both had large patches of sodden clothes, and they could only look like they'd been fighting or fucking. 

He didn't know what he was going to do about Mona, but she couldn't fulfill his needs. He didn't know if Rebecca's earlier tears meant she'd decided she needed to help raise the baby she'd helped create. He was aware a lot of people were going to be very unpleasantly surprised he and Rebecca were together. 

He helped her pull her toes from his pocket, and stretch her other leg out before it cramped. He pulled out from her body and dimly realized he hadn't used a condom. He kissed her, long and deep and until the water sluicing across the sink had made it look like he'd pissed himself. 

Then he pulled back, sifting her hair into some version of a style, and smiled at her sweetly. 

"I should take you home so you can sleep a little bit," he said.

"And stay," Rebecca said, both her tone and her grip on his tie very firm.

"And stay with you," he said, agreeably. "But you still need to sleep and look after yourself. I need you around forever. Verbal agreements are legally binding."


End file.
